Award-Winning Rome and Flame Weeding

Welcome to another episode of If You’re Like Me. On this thrill packed episode, Rome announces his new award for general awesomeness (or at least many years of participation). Also, Joel has discovered a great way to make lawncare more fun: using fire.

Other topics in this week’s episode:

  • When they make a movie about Covid pandemic
  • Missed business opportunities and technologies that they should bring back
  • Mannix marathon
  • Fun with webcams on work meetings
  • Salute to Mr. Coffee and interesting facts about what drip coffee makers have to do with geysers
  • Jungle Jim’s International Market in Cincinnati OH, and their amazing restrooms
  • Santo

Stay safe during your social distancing, and thank you for listening.

Inner Monologue says we are turning into Rome

In these days of quarantine, we are all turning into Rome–listening to old music and staying home.

“An internal monologue, also called self-talk, inner speech, inner discourse or internal discourse, is a person’s inner voice which provides a running verbal monologue of thoughts while they are conscious.” Do you have an internal monologue? Rome Maynard does, and the voice in his head makes sarcastic comments that he sometimes cannot repeat. Joel doesn’t think he has an internal monologue, at least not every day.

We also discuss typewriter, assembling furniture from boxes, and dressing for success when working from home.

Rome talks about a silent German film called Die Große Wette. Does it still exist?

 

Ahoy, it’s Smallcreep’s Day

Today Rome is excited because it is Smallcreep’s Day, a holiday that, as far as our researchers could determine, is only celebrated at Rome’s house. Listen to find out more about what Smallcreep’s Day is, and why you should join the celebration.

Other topics:

  • Goodbye hello, hello ahoy
  • Leap year
  • Why every four years is not leap year
  • Ken’s dealer
  • Text etiquette
  • Phil Collins update
  • Kirk Douglas
  • The War Wagon

 

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S02E01: I am Lindstorm!

It’s 2020 and season 2 of If You’re Like Me! as we get ready to start our sixth year of podcasting, we catch up on what has been happening since last season:

  • Joel’s new name
  • Rome goes to the ballet
  • Ken Jennings wins the Jeopardy! Greatest of All Time tournament
  • New coffee making system
  • Short haircuts
  • Mute yourself during conference calls

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Disney+ and whimsy with Shawn and Jim

Filling in for Rome Maynard this week are Shawn Tabor and Jim Lomas, and this week we are all about Disney+. If you aren’t watching The Mandalorian, you should be, and we talk about some of the other great discoveries we have made in the content on Disney+.

Other topics discussed in this episode:

  • Suspension of disbelief when watching biopics
  • Whimsy, and why Joel is lacking it
  • Christmas movies, and Shawn’s rules for when you can view them
  • Is Iron Man 3 a Christmas movie?
  • What is on our Spotify top songs of 2019 playlists

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Episode 100: 100 times like me

It’s our 100th episode. Time to celebrate with some deluxe circus peanuts.

Topics in this episode:

  • What’s changed in five years
  • This Michigan/Ohio war of 1835
  • Rome’s trip to Ohucky
  • Instant coffee
  • Raccoons
  • Educational planetarium displays

Thank you for listening–enjoy the next 100 episodes.

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If You’re Like 99

In today’s episode, Rome Maynard and Joel Lindstrom seek deeper meaning in inspiring others, songs about African precipitation, and look for subliminal messages in Slim Whitman music.

Topics in today’s episode:

  • Inspirational pep talks
  • Bad career advice
  • You can be whatever you want*
  • Karaoke night
  • Africa by Toto
  • Pooch selfie
  • Celebrity death
  • Blade Runner
  • Bruce Lee
  • Harry O
  • David Janssen
  • Murderous blimps
  • Iconic theme songs
  • Llac Evol Naidni

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Episode 95: Jeopardy James, Avengers Endgame, cemeteries, and spoilers

In this spoiler free episode, Joel and Rome discuss:

  • Listener feedback
  • Rome’s trip to Charleston
  • Why does Rome visit cemeteries on vacation?
  • Jeopardy James’ winning streak
  • Spoilers are good

Plus Shawn Tabor gives a spoiler free review of Avengers Endgame.

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Episode 94: Roadside attractions and Frank Cannon

This week on If You’re Like Me, Rome Maynard and Joel Lindstrom visit weird roadside attractions and plan for Cannon Night.

  • Preparation for Cannon night
  • Farm Boy
  • Nero Wolf
  • Lonesome Dove (novel)
  • Lee Horsley
  • Are we over-exposed to Star Wars?
  • Review of weird roadside attractions in the state of Minnesota
  • Small town life
  • Creepy child statues at the Greenville Spartanburg Airport
  • The new Twilight Zone
  • Alfred Hitchcock Presents
  • The man from the south
  • The Glass Eye

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Episode 93: Coffee and Star Wars

Welcome to a caffeinated episode of “If You’re Like Me.” This week special guests Shawn and Nick give us a live update from the Star Wars Celebration Chicago:

  • Coffee
  • Coffee snobs
  • Black holes
  • slapkirk.com
  • Star Wars celebration
  • Galaxy’s Edge update
  • Breakdown of the Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker trailer

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Episode 88: Happy 2019

Welcome to the first episode of 2019. Rome and Joel are in the same location for this episode, and we catch up on how the new year is progressing

Topics discussed in this episode:

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Episode 85: IYLM Thanksgiving 2018

It’s Thanksgiving time, and once again we list the items and people for which we are thankful.

Discussed in this episode:

  • The annual turkey debate
  • Things for which we are thankful
  • Ohio Icepocolypse
  • The biggest ball of twine rolled by one man
  • Stan Lee
  • Death list
  • is tragedy essential to great stories?

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Episode 84: Halloween 2018

It’s the If You’re Like Me Halloween special. In this episode we give you helpful advice about how to not become a vampire and also discuss the following spooky topics:

  • Rome’s birthday
  • Hermit crabs
  • Circus peanuts
  • Negative synergy
  • Halloween costumes
  • The death of Dracula controversy
  • Green Bean Casserole
  • Travel
  • Gift cards
  • Game shows
  • Trivia contest weak spots

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Episode 83: Workstation Crisis

It’s time for another If You’re Like Me, and Rome is MIA due to a workstation crisis.

Heath and Joel say the show must go on, and discuss the following burning topics:

  • Detroit
  • Mission Impossible: Fallout
  • Workstation crisises
  • Celebrity RIP
  • Book reports
  • Continuous learning
  • Climbing Mount Everest

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Episode 82: Dystopian Justice

Today Rome Maynard and Joel Lindstrom (without Heath) talk about the American justice system and dystopian fiction.

Discussed in this episode:

  • Rome’s experience as a temp dad
  • Adventures in jury duty
  • Why read dystopian literature?
  • Brave New World by Aldus Huxley
  • Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
  • Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  • Why does Neil Gaiman introduce everything?
  • Dune by Frank Herbert
  • Did Dune inspire Star Wars?
  • Cannon: The Stewardess Strangler

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Episode 80: Now more than ever, Florkey

This week Rome, Joel, and some guy from Illinois discuss the following trending topics:

  • Eclectic international death log
  • Show jumping
  • Depressing book reviews
  • Tragedies in the Grand Canyon
  • Ohio breaking news
  • Campaign 2018 update
  • Heath Florkey campaign slogans
  • Giraffes
  • The Return of Frank Canon

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Episode 79: Surplus Cheese

Jeff Fossett returns as our special guest and helps us discuss these exciting topics:

  • The cheese surplus
  • How to cram every life event into 7 months
  • The Office
  • The history of Australia
  • Work pranks
  • Perry Mason and the howling dog
  • WRK acoustic Yellowcard tour
  • Phil Collins Alamo obsession
  • Uber drivers in Cedar Rapids, IA
  • Heath’s trip to New York City
  • Notable deaths
  • Rock violin

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Episode 78: What dad wants

Happy Father’s Day. In this episode we give some ideas for last minute Fathers Day gifts. Enjoy this episode, and don’t forget to shut the lights off when you leave the room.

Topics in this episode:

  • Father’s day
  • What do the fathers want?
  • Neckties
  • Bowties
  • The Lindstrom car fight cam
  • Embarrassing flight experiences
  • Disgusting new M&M flavors
  • I’ve got you covered by Paul Denver
  • The time Joel was the keynote speaker at a graduation
  • WKRP in Cincinnati
  • Joel’s depressing book choices
  • Jack London short stories
  • Why does Germany have princes?
  • Scandanavians
  • Larry update
  • County fairs

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Episode 77: Schicklgruber Graduation

It’s a late night version of If You’re Like Me. Recorded late at night because graduation season has reached the Florkey household, and Florkey graduations are month-long extravaganzas.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Graduations
  • Cross Pens
  • Celebrity deaths
  • Soliciting the sale of no soliciting signs
  • Mothers
  • Holiday creep
  • Joel’s trip to his boyhood home
  • Late night television hosts
  • Teachers
  • World War II
  • Cannon
  • Green Bay Packers football

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Episode 75: The Love Boat is sinking

Rome Maynard is on assignment this week, so Heath and Joel do the best that they can to carry on. We recount some little known Rome Maynard facts, and discuss a large number of celebrity deaths, California, Denver, pollen tumbleweeds, and springtime. Plus we are joined by a mystery guest.

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If You’re Like Me 74: King Syndrome

This week we are without Heath Florkey, but we remember him by recounting some little known Heath Florkey facts that will entertain and amaze you.

Other topics in this episode:

  • Rainy Days
  • Cincinnati spring break
  • Ohio drivers
  • Should Maryl Streep play Princess Leia?
  • Rome’s 20th anniversary
  • YouTube and the devolution of entertainment
  • King Syndrome
  • Book Recommendations

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Episode 73: Third Anniversary

This is a special third-anniversary episode of If You’re Like Me, with special guest star Scott Barr. We tell the story of how If You’re Like Me came to be, and discuss the following topics:

  • Daylight saving time
  • Listener Mail
  • The portrayal of small town people in movies
  • Impostor syndrome
  • Notable celebrity deaths
  • Update from Seattle
  • Portsmouth Update

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Episode 72: Lieutenant Daniel Tiger

It’s a busy week on If You’re Like Me:

  • Listener mail
  • Joel’s 20th Anniversary
  • Tom Hanks to play Mr. Rogers
  • Captain Kangaroo’s bad dental hygiene advice
  • Florkey Stovegate 2018
  • “The Revenge of Analog” by David Sax
  • Resale value of physical media
  • Cannon Season 3 recap: How could they miss?
  • Celebrity deaths

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Episode 71: A bad week to play the flute

Rome, Joel, and Heath are back for an episode filled with triumph and tragedy.

Topics in this episode:

  • Celebrity flutist deaths
  • Kidney stones
  • Heath responds to anti-juicing press
  • Windows 10 won’t let us have a clean restart
  • Celebrities who think they can sing
  • HGTV
  • SuperBowl

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Episode 70: You can’t handle the juice!

It’s 2018 and time for our latest episode. This week we are joined by embalming expert Heath Florkey.

  • Welcome to 2018
  • Highlights from the holidays
  • Heath’s high powered juicer
  • Live update from the Ohio Snowpocalypse
  • Recommendations for de-stressing
  • Death update
  • Game Shows
  • Rome reviews “Murder by Gemini”
  • Joel reviews the Fugitive
  • Star Wars the Last Jedi

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Episode 69: Seven days to #HollyJolly

This is an expert packed episode. Joining Joel and Rome are Jonathan Hyde, HR expert, and Jeff Fossett, cybersecurity expert.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Upcoming Fossett wedding
  • Punch
  • Andy Griffith Show
  • Christmas lights, and things for which they should have training classes
  • Jeff’s world famous key lime pie
  • Leaf blowing
  • Movies that are better than their books
  • Charlotte Douglas Airport and R&R
  • How to get a row to yourself on Southwest Airlines
  • Why are some songs considered Christmas songs?

 
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Episode 66: “I am amazing at shuffleboard”

In this episode we are joined by cybersecurity expert Jeff Fossett and walking horse expert Holly Fleming. They join us to celebrate Rome Maynard’s cumpleaños and announce that If You’re Like Me is the official podcast of #HollyJollyWedding.

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Feliz cumpleaños Rome
  • Auctioneering
  • Rome completes the Cannon book Cannon
  • “I am amazing at shuffleboard” – Jeff Fossett
  • Concerts
  • The day Holly met Johnny Cash
  • You can line dance to any song
  • What is a walking horse?
  • Jeff, like Phil Collins, can’t dance
  • Parental Miranda rights
  • The Brady Bunch
  • Circus peanuts
  • Holly’s Mayonnaise recipe
  • Container security and certificate pinning
  • Wedding registration

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Episode 65: Pumpkin Spice is a Conspiracy

It’s autumn in the US, and that means two things: Rome Maynard’s birthmonth and the return of the pumpkin spiced everything. Today we have a fun conversation about:

  • Large spiders
  • Spider movies
  • It’s really allspice and nutmeg
  • Pumpkin pie, aka “baby food on a crust”
  • How could they miss?
  • The Voyager golden record

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Episode 64: If you’re like mevegas

Welcome to another episode of Rome Maynard: On call. This week we have dying country music singers, Ohio city signs, and a discussion of why cities that end in “-ville” nickname themselves “vegas.”

Other topics discussed in this episode:

  • Musicians that Joel sees in concert are dying
  • Joel review of Jason Isbell concert in Akron, OH
  • Ohio town signs
  • Rome Maynard for Lt. Gov.
  • Rome’s trip to Ohucky
  • Knoxville sunsphere
  • Why do towns that end in -ville nickname themselves “vegas?”
  • Larry update
  • Parenting advice: should I let my child get a snake?
  • Cannon update–how could they miss?
  • Who likes red delicious apples?

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Episode 63: Hallelujah, eclipse engagement

In this episode we celebrate Jeff Fossett’s recent engagement, and we give him advice about wedding planning and music for the ceremony.

Other topics featured in this episode:

  • Group participation Messiah sing-along wedding
  • Eclipses and why Jeff hates them
  • Jeff Fossett’s celebrity doppelgangers
  • Rome’s time prank
  • Work pranks
  • Notable deaths
  • Cannon and the recurring theme
  • Why you should put pebbles on your car hood (and other places)
  • Travels to the Harris family compound
  • Joel’s famous relatives

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Episode 62: Rome Maynard, Rifleman

This week we are preparing for our upcoming total solar eclipse. If you’re like us, you will protect your vision during the eclipse, and listen to this exciting episode. Some of the topics discussed on this episode:

  • Joel’s business idea
  • Notable deaths: June Foray and Martin Landau
  • Rome’s rifling problem
  • Amazon item of the week
  • Larry update
  • The highlight of Rome’s summer
  • Duct tape
  • Kojak, the lp
  • Inventorying collections
  • Rome’s non-NASCAR trip to Bristol
  • Office supply stores
  • Bluetooth cell phone headsets
  • CVS receipts

If bad guys should come to your town, just call Rome the rifleman. He doesn’t have a rifle, but he will rifle through your desk drawers.

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Episode 61: NASCAR, southern accents, and friendiversary

In this episode, we are glad to have cybersecurity expert Jeff Fossett back to help us be more secure. Topics discussed on this episode:

  • What were our first orders on Amazon
  • Rome’s Herculean system upgrades
  • Lindstrom Trip to Seattle
  • Network Engineers party like it’s 1996
  • Jeff and joel celebrate their one year friendiversary
  • Jeff explains why he is a NASCAR fan, and why you should be too
  • Fast food
  • Southern accents

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Episode 59: Big hats and fidget spinners

In this week’s episode, Joel hits a milestone by finally finding a hat the fits him, and we review our plans for future “Five Minute Cannon” episode.

Additional topics in this episode:

  • What we’re listening to: Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors Souvenier and Serius XM Rome channel
  • What we’re watching: return of MST3k, “Batman and Bill, and Perry Mason”
  • Fidget Spinners
  • Rome’s latest pranks for Larry
  • We observe a very special five year anniversary

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Episode 58: All shows lead to Matlock

If you’ve listened to If You’re Like Me for long, you know Rome’s distaste for Andy Griffith, and how Joel enjoys finding Griffithian connections to things that Rome loves. In this episode, we discuss the distinguished career of Dean Hargrove, who is responsible for some of Rome’s favorite television, as well as Ben Matlock, which places Ben Matlock firmly within the William Conrad/Perry Mason/Columbo universe.

We also talk about celebrity deaths during the month of March, Cannon’s fatal flaw, creepy stalking music, and gameshows.

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Episode #55: Alabama House of Turkey, Russell Johnson, and Skunks

In this episode we discuss:

  • Rome’s brush with death
  • Sweet home Alabama
  • Alabama house of Turkey
  • Cannon season 2
  • Selecting music for a family slideshow
  • Joel’s trip to the Grand Canyon
  • Scatology
  • The great Ohio skunk infestation
  • Ohio drivers vs. South Carolina drivers
  • Attack of the Crab Monsters with Russel Johnson
  • Gilligan’s Island
  • Magnificent Seven (2016)
  • The Fugitive
  • Thunderstruck by Erik Larson
  • RIP Jamie Fox

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Episode #54: The Cannon of Spies

It’s our inaugural episode of 2017. Since the Russians are now back as the villains in our news, we talk about our favorite Russian spies and villains. See if yours is on our list. Other topics in this week’s episode:

  • Farm Boy
  • Cannon
  • Columbo
  • The Bandwagon show
  • Big Joe Polka Show
  • Rome hates half pint
  • Crying and hugging
  • SMERSH vs SPECTRE
  • If we were Darth Vader
  • The value of being the family archivist

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Episode 46: Lindstrom’s Law

It’s time for another episode of If You’re Like Me, also known as Joel and the Grumpy Old Man. This episode includes a free-wheeling discussion of the following topics:

  • Asheville, NC
  • Boy man buns
  • Rome’s old man hat
  • Lindstrom’s Law
  • Our olympic recap
  • RIP Kenny Baker
  • Helpful prank tips
  • William Conrad’s coat
  • Driving in Ohio
  • Here’s to easily entertained people

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Episode 39: Curation and Comment

This week filmmaker Chris White joins us to talk about his short film anthology Unbecoming. Chris shares some great insight about what it is like to be a creator in the age of curation and comment, when everybody is a critic. I had the pleasure of attending the red carpet premier of Unbecoming in Tryon, North Carolina, and we are giving away two tickets for the Greenville premier of the movie in May. Just leave a comment on our blog or Facebook page to be included in the drawing.

Chris also discusses his experiences working on Star Trek Continues and writing Saturday Night Live reviews on Paste Magazine. How does being a filmmaker change his approach to being a critic? Is SNL really not as good as it used to be?

Other topics in this episode:

  • Mayor Uber
  • Popcorn
  • Michael Forest
  • Glen Campbell
  • Hulk hands
  • Phillcollinology
  • Admiral Ackbar
  • Merle Haggard
  • Mortality
  • Larry update

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Episode #38: Hats Off To Larry

In this episode we premier a new television drama, “Rome Maynard: On Call.” Will Rome answer the phone in time to save the doctor who forgot his email password? Find out tonight on “Rome Maynard: On Call.”

We also discuss audiobooks–do they count as “reading?” and the listening public challenges Rome to view the Netflix DareDevil series.

We talk about Chris White’s excellent new short film anthology Unbecoming. This film includes Michael Forest and Patti D’arbanville. Now both Joel and Rome have IMDB pages.


UNBECOMING \ Trailer from Paris MTN Scout on Vimeo.

We wrap up with a mega Larry update. Last week was National Larry Day, so in Larry’s honor we unveil the new Larry Update Theme Song.

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